I'm so fucking centered right now
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
