I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
