Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
