then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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