He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have aggressive nipples.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
