how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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