I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
