Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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