So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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