Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
