well you can't waste a boner
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
