How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
