I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
