don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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