soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
