Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
