so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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