He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Boobs are out for the taking
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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