so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
