at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
