i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
