Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
