You're so nebulous sometimes
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
