so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
