you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
