you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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