When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
