You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
