Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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