check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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