real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
