i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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