Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
