I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
