There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
