weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
