this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
