and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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