Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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