hotel room ftw
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
