It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
