And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
MIDGETS
????
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
