You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Who died my cat blue again?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
