im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
