what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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