went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I looked at my own cervix.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
