At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
