He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
