Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
