Define "chronic" masturbator.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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